Tiger Woods

The area of Orlando that I live in is called Windermere. It's a nice little area among the lakes where the cops will probably pull you over for 3 miles over the limit. Sharing my zipcode is a guy you might know: Tiger Woods. I have a message for Mr. Woods....fuck off. Pardon my Frenglish, but quite honestly, this douche is causing nothing but trouble! Just a moment ago, I was just bumbling down the road in the Barracuda, minding my own business, when I suddenly found myself swerving around the road dodging people in suits. I put down my Chick Fil A and tried to see what was happening. Then I narrowly missed the CNN van. And shortly afterward, the ABC van. You see...because Tiger Woods has decided to take a NAP instead of simply issuing a statement about his accident, the entire country's news organizations have set up camp outside his house.

So I have this to say: if you weren't drunk and you weren't beating your wife, what have you got to hide, kiddo? Better yet...if you weren't drunk, how did you manage to run over a fire hydrant AND hit a tree at 2:20 in the morning? Just issue a statement, damn it, and get out of my way! But in the meantime.........I'll have what he's having.

The Barracuda

I realized that most people back home haven't seen the number 1 reason I'm single: The Barracuda. She is ferocious. She is a beast. But she eats every dollar I make for lunch. And as if to spit in my face, she STILL refuses to run like the Lexus RX400h I would much rather own. Anyway, today is her debut. Here you have it...The Barracuda.

Welcome!

So here it is...my blog. I've been wanting to blog for awhile, mostly because I have a lot of opinions that no one wants to hear that I'd like to be outspoken about. This is the perfect place! Now I can write to my heart's content and the people who find it interesting can tag along.

In the end, this blog is a peek into my life here in Gator country. And as the title says, I hope you'll find humor in the fact that the crazy antics that take place are probably the leading reason I fly solo. Eventually, I'll be adding a music facet to the blog. But for now, hold your damned horses.

Welcome to my life.